


Thank You

by MsCaeGil



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark Thoughts, F/M, Feastday, First Day of School, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Seventh Year, One Shot, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers, if this can trigger you please don't read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:55:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28022784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsCaeGil/pseuds/MsCaeGil
Summary: Remus looked deeply troubled and like he was carefuly constructing what he was about to say to her. “Look... I don’t really think that youarebut,” he said hurriedly, cutting her off before she could protest. “if you are... then so am I...” He bit his lower lip, greatly hesitating his next words. “I need to tell you something. I’m a... I’m a werewolf Lena. Maybe then... we can bebroken... Together?”
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Thank You

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE THIS HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IF IT TRIGGERS YOU JUST DON'T READ IT**
> 
> It's not that dark, BUT, you know...
> 
> Please, excuse any mistakes!! English is not my first language and I have to read and reread like 9839 times... and even then, there may be lots of errors lol
> 
> I was feeling quite angsty and down a couple of days ago and this kinda came out... I needed to just put some feelings out of me.  
> So it's really really short! It's just a bit of Remus and an OC at Hogwarts.

* * *

She just sat there, limply. The tears had dried by now but she still didn’t have enough strength to just get up and leave just yet. Hugging her legs firmly to her chest, she let her forehead rest against her knees.

Why, oh why, does she feel so much pain? So much loneliness? Even when she was surrounded with so much people, she felt alone. She couldn’t understand. Her head hurts, her chest hurts, it’s hard to breathe. It was tiring to constantly feel like this. Was there any potion to just numb all this pain? She would have to ask at the Hospital Wing for it. And then use it. _Everyday preferably._

It all started when she caught her friends, or so she _thought they were her friends_ , having meetings, behind her back. Spent all of their summers together and all. They all had dismissed her. Just like that. It’s not like all of them didn’t do stuff separately sometimes, obviously, but they were _supposed_ to be that kind of people that she could count on for anything and vice-versa. But _now,_ just on the first day back, as they were down there on the welcome back feast she was right here, full of the darkest and anguished thoughts, considering all of the previous years, if they were doing this even before. She couldn’t know, really, couldn’t stop over analyzing every single thing for the past six years at school.

Six years _. Six fucking years._ Now that the final year was starting, she seriously thought that it was going to be the best one. She spent so many time working on her issues, her anxieties, trying to be someone better. How fucking wrong she was.

And there was the issue with her family. She was never enough at home. Her siblings were better. Her big sister the adored first daughter, her middle brother, pride of her parents and then her... Nothing but dissapointment. She was the accident. Born lots of years later than her siblings, unexpectedly.

She looked now at the grounds of the castle, a desperate feeling clawing at her insides, from the astronomy tower, where she was curently hiding herself. _‘Hmm... I wonder...If it would be faster..._ _’_ Getting up, she walked to the railings, trying to climb it a little bit to just look down for a second...

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?¹” A desperate slightly breathless voice shouted from behind, startling her.

“Shit! _Remus_!” She turned around with wide eyes to look at him and got away from the railings. “What are you doing here? You should be at the feast!”

Sighing heavy, Remus got a bit closer to her, “I couldn’t find you at your house table and when I asked your friends about you they didn’t know where you were. So I just came looking where I know you most like being, besides the library.” He hesitated, looking away from her. “What... _Why_... Merlin...” He clearly looked lost and didn’t know how to phrase or ask his concerns for her.

Their friendship was an unexpected one. It happened at the library one day in the middle of 4th year and it slowly developed a profound understanding that they didn’t quite know how to place but welcomed it nonetheless. Still, there were many things they hadn’t yet shared about each other, deeper things, and apparently, this was the moment that those deeper things would be blowing up right in their faces.

Her eyes filled with unshed tears and her hands balled into fists, trying to hold her feelings, not wanting to let him see what she felt like weakness. She hadn’t fancied many boys, so, she inevitably had developed the biggest crush of all on him over the many years they had shared talking. “It was nothing, really. I was just looking at the view and something caught my curiosity, I thought I saw something running there...” She turned her back to him and walked away toward the railings again, but Remus had seen the pain in her eyes, the gathering of the tears that she was valiantly pushing back inside.

“Lena...” He approached her, taking small steps and speaking soflty. “I... I don’t know what happened but... You do know that I’m here for you... Right?” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

There was a soft wind blowing and her long curly brown hair exhaled her familiar pinapple scented shampoo that Remus was so fond of. He wanted to run his hands through it and never let go.

It took longer than he expected and when she finally answered, he was crushed down with so much angst that he could feel it in his bones.

“Please _don’t._ Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I’m tired of receiving those.” Helena opened her eyes and finally turned to look at him.

“What can I do to make you feel better?”

She laughed humorlessly and shook her head. “There is nothing you, or anyone can do. I’m broken, Remus. My mind is _bloody fucking broken_. I feel so tired.” She let out a dry sob.

Remus looked deeply troubled and like he was carefuly constructing what he was about to say to her. “Look... I don’t really think that you are but,” he said hurriedly, cutting her off before she could protest. “ _if_ you are... then so am I...” He bit his lower lip, greatly hesitating his next words. “I need to tell you something. I’m a... I’m a werewolf Lena. Maybe then... _we can be broken_... Together?” He searched her face, for any signs of fear, disgust, repulse, prepared to just flee and leave her be if it were the case. But Remus had to take a chance with this, even with the possibility of crushing his heart. They had been really close friends for a while now and he just couldn’t keep this anymore from her...plus, his friends had been pestering him ever since they found out about him actually being quite infatuated with her _._

Helena looked at him with wide eyes and felt lightheaded, and the tears that were just a threat became very much real just then. Everything made sense now, the scars, him tired, the occasional hospital wing, sometimes not being in classes... In a heartbeat, she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his frame, even though Remus was obviously much taller than her.

Remus was startled by her reaction and felt himself stiffen at the sudden display of affection. But soon enough, his arms circled around her, and Helena was now sobbing soundlessly against him. He could feel her body shaking from it, and resting his cheek against the top of her head, he urged her to talk to him. “Please, Lena, talk to me. Say something.”

She lifted her head a little from where she had it pressed, and with a cracked voice, poured nothing but kindness to him. “Oh Rem, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I understand now, you didn’t have to tell me. Oh Merlin... I can’t believe this...” She fiercely hugged him again, and Remus felt a pleasant flutter on his stomach, having her so close to him. “It’s alright... It happened a really long time a go... and I wanted to tell you sooner but, you see, I can’t exactly go about telling people about the monster I am...”

She abruptly let go of him and looked to his face with the burning eyes of a thousand bonfires. It was swollen from the tears, making it even brighter, with only, ironically, the moonlight to reflect upon it. “Don’t you fucking dare!” She huffed. “You are not a monster! You are the kindest and generous person I have ever met!” Then her eyes were welling up again in tears. “Is there anything I can do for you? Please, would you let me know?”

It felt so surreal. In one moment, he was desperate to know what was happening to her, what could possible distress her so much and now, _she_ was the one who was comforting him, dismissing that she had just said how broken she was. How could she be so selfless?

“Look, Lena... Will you please talk to me? What happened? I can’t bear to see you like this... I promise we can talk about... my problem... later...”

Helena slumped a little bit and covered her face with her hands. Mumbing through it, she gave up on holding herself back. “I’m tired, Remus. I feel bloody tired all the time. Mentally drained.” She let her hands fall slack to her sides and turned her back to him. Looking around, Helena found a spot so she could sit on the ground again.

For the next hour, she poured her heart and soul to him. She had never done it before, not like this. She always felt like none of her so called friends would actually understand her point of view, they would usually say things like “cheer up”, “you need to be more social”, “laugh more”, “drink more”, that kind of stuff. Her voice got raw from it.

Remus was sitting beside her, with her head on his shoulder. Sometimes Helena went really quiet for a few minutes and he could feel the fabric of his robes getting wet. “Sorry...I’ve never talked about all of that to anyone before...” she quietly mumbled to him. He took one of her hands in his. “Don’t be. I’m happy you’re sharing it with me.” He turned his body to her and brought her hand to his heart. Looking into her eyes, he quietly said to her, “I really want to kiss you right now.”

“You do? Why?” She looked startled, eyes puffy. “I... I’ve never been kissed before...”

Remus smiled gently at her. “Lena... I like you. Very much. And I already told you... That we can be broken together, if you want, that is...” His other hand pushed her hair out of her shoulder and with his fingertips, traced lightly her cheek.

Her hand squeezed his, and her eyes softened. “ _I like you very much, too._ ” She leaned a little bit in his direction and Remus saw this as his chance at kissing her. He cupped her face with his hand and brought his lips to hers. They were hesitant and soft, and he waited till he knew she was feeling comfortable with it. Then, his tongue was sneaking out and when she felt it against her lips, she let out a soft gasp. Remus deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with his tongue, and felt her hands coming up his shoulders and threading through his hair. Sighing, he pressed her as much closer as he could. He lost himself in her in that moment.

Finally, when they needed the air, Remus broke the kiss. Foreheads touching, Helena was the first to speak. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Saving my life.”

* * *


End file.
